A Painful Experience


I’m a young woman of 25 years old and I have a baby girl of almost one and a half years. Before I met my baby daddy, I was in a relationship with someone everything was working out perfectly well until he started behaving in a way towards me that I didn’t like.

Already my mom told me to end the relationship with him because of his religion. Even if I continue at the end, my family wouldn’t approve of our marriage.

He also started misbehaving towards me so I lost interest and told him to quit but he didn’t want to let me go. I was already exhausted and wanted out.

One day I met my baby daddy, I already knew him when I was 15 years old. He was also young at that time and he was making an advance at me but I felt I was young so I didn’t give him my attention “that was way back in 2012”.

I met him again somewhere in late 2018 where he came looking for me because I never changed my phone number and that was how he found me. Well, I told him I was in a toxic relationship in the beginning, and along the line, I had to correct my mistakes and come back.

When my ex saw that I wasn’t having time for him and realized I was in a relationship, he started acting nice. He went to the extent of washing my panties which he will never do in the past and I knew he was up to something.

We live close to each other so whenever he noticed I’m not home he will call me several times and send me a lot of texts and sometimes I have to turn off my phone or hide it because I was enjoying my new relationship.
When I was young, I was already crushing on him and he seemed to be a good person.

My new guy found out and got angry but I didn’t lie to him in the beginning. I liked him because I taught he will help to shape my life.

He took me to church more times, we read the Bible and he taught me a lot of good things. He used to apologize just to cut any misunderstanding even if I was at my fault.

3 months after the relationship, I realized he has been chatting with someone and the person seems to call him. Sometimes when I’m around he doesn’t answer the person’s calls. I heard him telling her I’m his sister because the girl heard my voice, let me go to the point.

I was at home one day when he called me that he was coming to pick me at the pool and that was early morning. I didn’t hear from him and it was getting late so I called him several times but he didn’t answer.

He didn’t have any bad intentions for me but I was worried because he doesn’t move an inch without his phone. I kept on calling and still he wasn’t answering.

So I had to go to his place to check up on him. When I got there his friends were there. Immediately they saw me they all marveled and one of them told me not to enter his room.

I barged into the room and to my surprise, a girl was lying on his bed naked and he has used my cloth as a pillow and lay down tired and asleep. I came out and his friend told me she was his cousin and I know very well that he will never share his room with any family member.

Low and behold, his kid sister was around so I called her and asked if the girl was their relative and she said she doesn’t know her.
I kept calling my boyfriend and he never picked. I asked the girl who she was and she didn’t seem to have respect for me.
All she could say was that if I was better, he wouldn’t have come for her.
Wow, it was so painful, my boyfriend came and went into the room and exited with the girl at the back door, when he came back in front of his friends he teased and insulted me.

I lost love for him immediately but he apologized and because I knew I made mistakes in the past I forgave him. I got pregnant and he said he wasn’t responsible because he came to look for me and my kid brother came to call me from my ex’s house. My ex already knew I was pregnant and it wasn’t his.

He maltreated me. He didn’t sleep home; he left me all by myself. At times I fall sick at night and when I call him he will be like, I will send you money so to go to the hospital.
I will ask him to come and pick me up but he will say he is busy.

At times when I’m going for antenatal, I will have to wash, clean, and cook before he gives me money for my drugs.
I got fed up, I couldn’t carry the bag anymore and I wanted to abort the baby. My ex was also being nice begging me to abort so that we’ll be together. He is a changed person but I started going to church and had some counseling so I kept it.

He came to my workplace disgraced me to people I teach and to my boss, said things that were not true.
At times he’ll just come to my work, take my phone and later bring it.

He was discussing me with his friends and any advice they give him he acts on it. I was so bitter; I wasn’t happy in life anymore, whenever I see him my heart jumps from my chest. He told every member of his family about me even his little brothers didn’t have respect for me.

They talk to me anyhow, my mom was also disappointed, my students are giggling and saying things about me.
So imagine life with pain and anxiety and depression and pregnancy, seriously I didn’t know my baby will survive
On my birthday he didn’t give me a pesewa or even a handkerchief.

The day I was going into labor, he was around earlier to give me pizza and a drink.
I told him to keep his phone close because I wasn’t getting any better and he asked me whether he was my Uber. I couldn’t sleep that night; the pain was becoming unbearable so I had to rush to the hospital with my mom.

Throughout the night I kept calling him and he never picked my call till 11 am telling me he was asleep.
He later came with his mom when I was being transferred to another hospital that night. Later at dawn, I gave birth to a baby girl and the resemblance between him and the girl made me weep for two weeks after birth, the resemblance never changed.
I realized he was cheating on me when I was pregnant because I sometimes see condoms in his bags and stuff.
I saw lubricant the other time and I realized people calling him late at night and at dawn he sneaked to pick calls. I laughed I began praying for him because I knew girls of nowadays can do everything to snatch a man.
One day I asked him if I have done anything wrong to him that’s why he’s cheating on me, he said I haven’t done anything. Is something wrong with me he said no.

During the time I was pregnant he kept sleeping with different kinds of girls.
He even reconciled with his ex which his siblings were aware of.

The girl I caught in his bed he’s still dating her but changed her name on his phone, they were attending the same church but the girl was in a different branch, so whenever they were having a program at the girl’s brunch he will be like the place will be crowded so I shouldn’t bother myself.

Another girl he was dating too not knowing all the times he wasn’t sleeping home telling me he was at his friend’s place working he was with a girl, staying in the girl’s place.

I’ve been in a relationship with him for almost 3 years and he has been dating the girl I caught in bed for 3 years and the other one for 2 years.

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